Playing the Victim Card

Playing the Victim Card

As dramatic as this title might seem, it gives me great joy today as I begin to write. I had one of those “aha” personal growth moments yesterday.

I saw in a flash just how distinctly miserable my experience always is when I choose the victim role. What brought me delight, and eased some of the pain of this realization, was imagining an actual deck of cards.

In my imagination, I saw a deck of cards, and one of them was a Victim Card. This card had an image on it that looked like a Skull & Crossbones.

Very scary indeed!

I played this metaphor out a little further and saw that, at any given moment, under any circumstance – be it heartbreak or joy — I have the choice to play the Victim Card.

When I pull that one negative card from the deck … in that instant, no matter what I say or do, it’s not going to have a happy ending for me or the people I am playing with.

When I play the Victim Card, my heart closes, and I feel small and powerless. When I play the Victim Card, I invite others to rescue me.

It only makes sense that if I am the victim, someone MUST be the Persecutor. Like in one of those classic country songs, I am playing the “Somebody Done Me Wrong” card.

When I play the Victim Card, the game of life becomes miserable! The good news is that, at any given moment, I can choose to play one of the other 51 cards in the deck … and so can you.

Those are the cards that keep you IN the game, no matter how painful or uncomfortable you may feel. Those cards have images of forgiveness and self-love on them.

They have Good Boundaries on them. Taking a stand for principles close to your heart. Overcoming obstacles so that you can shift out of the victim energy (which has us feeling trapped, tricked, triggered, isolated, impotent, entitled, resentful … the list goes on) and into … yes, you guessed it, the energy of love. Simple to say and never easy to do, but so worthwhile, so very worthwhile.

Here are my questions for you this week: 

• When are you most tempted to play your Victim Card?
• What’s a card that keeps you open-hearted?
• What’s a card that reminds you of your value?
• What’s a card that connects you to Spirit?
• What’s a card that encourages you to lighten up?

I would love to hear what you find out about what kind of card opens your heart. 

If you want to play around with this in a way that is fun and fruitful, check out the “Make it Real” section below.