You Took My Joy and I Want It Back

You took my joy… I want it back! 
You took my joy… I want it back! 
I’m gonna go to Slidell and look for my joy
Go to Slidell and look for my joy
Maybe in Slidell, I’ll find my joy
Maybe in Slidell, I’ll find my joy

That’s a line from a Lucinda Williams song. She went to Slidell to get her joy back.

I found a different way to recover my joy. 

A few weeks ago Curtis and I did a beta launch of our new online course ”Evolve Your Coaching Business” which is based on my book of the same name. 

The beta group that is going through the course is an amazing group of coaches who are dedicated to growing their business in a soulful way. 

The course itself is a labor of love and a lot of hard work. After many iterations, I have finally created the course I know will guide coaches to success. I am really proud of it and excited to share it with the world. 

We also have found a community platform for all the participants to communicate with us and each other. 

It is my dream come true! 

So the week before the course launch I had a retreat in Malibu with my daughter Laurel. We celebrated her birthday and I worked days on end to get the course ready for the launch. 

The day before the launch Curtis and I had the most fun creating a handmade map that had the course beautifully displayed so our participants could get a birds-eye view of what they were going to experience. 

We bought silly hats to wear during the launch party. 

It was all going so well! I even had some time on the day of the launch to shine up my launch timeline. 

Some of our peeps showed up to cheer us on, which I was so grateful for. I began my spiel and was in about 15 minutes when it happened. As I was describing the course using our fun map my inner critic started to have some fun with me.

This joker used phrases like “well that probably won’t be as good as you thought” and “people probably won’t like this part at all.” 

Since I was being recorded and had a lovely audience listening in, I just kept going. But I felt my joy slip away. That Critic took my joy and I wanted it back!

Right about this time, Curtis took over for his part of the presentation. He had experienced a glitch in the technology he was in charge of just before the party started, and that knocked some of the joy out of it for him. 

He does not like to perform the way I do, so he really just wanted to explain the details but he too had a saboteur attack. I heard the words he was using, downplaying all his hard work and his expertise. I noticed the energy in our little virtual room was sinking. 

That’s when I intruded and named what I was witnessing. A full-on saboteur attack! I asked the folks there if they recognized what was happening and everyone nodded their heads. 

As painful as it was to lose my joy and witness Curtis floundering under the influence of harsh words spoken in his head, I also felt my joy begin to rise as I stated the transparent truth about our community platform that Curtis had worked to create.

My joy rose even more when I realized that I must care a bucket-load about this course, these people, and what I was doing to bring on such an attack. 

The more we care, the closer we are to expressing our truest genius and joy in the world, the more likely to call out the voices that want to keep us “safe”. Dumb down our brilliance and steal our JOY… so we don’t get “hurt”. Does anyone out there recognize this?  

I got my joy back! Didn’t have to go to Sidell (wherever that is), just did some in-the-moment soul searching and out-loud naming of what was present in that moment. 

Here is what I learned. 

When I feel that joy being sapped, it is a sign that my saboteur is kicking up some dust. With that awareness, I look for higher ground to lift me up, just enough to be able to see the truth of the situation. 

Then the joy begins to bubble up again. 

This can take weeks or it can take minutes depending on my awareness and willingness to grow past the limiting but often comfortable ways of thinking and behaving. 

It is always worth it though.  

Here’s to Your Joy!  

The next time you feel your joy being zapped I suggest you try this yourself.

Find higher ground. It could be as simple as looking outside at nature or putting on some good music.

Then look for the truth and allow your joy to bubble back up! 

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