You Need Help…

It is… oh so right… that the lessons I most need to learn are the ones I teach, preach and know to be true!

My husband Curtis was MY teacher this week in one of the lessons I am an expert in teaching, yet continually need to be reminded to do.

We all need HELP!

I don’t mean that in a snarky way, I am not insinuating that there is something wrong with you. Quite the opposite.

Seeking help when you need it is a very mature and intelligent thing to do.

Later in this message, I am going to give you a list of some possible reasons you don’t seek help when you need it.

I find it is handy to have the blocks to success at my fingertips so I recognize them when they appear to be real.

But first, let’s get back to the story of Curtis and my lesson.

Curtis is in Toastmasters and this month he had signed up for his first speaking contest. He has been in this group for 3 years and has learned a lot about speaking. He has won many ribbons.

But he has never been in a contest and so was facing a new challenge in writing his speech.

I watched him sit in front of the fire one night. It was so cozy in our little living room with a light rain falling outside and the cat curled up on his lap.

His expression, though, depicted none of that joy.

Instead, he looked stressed as he pecked away at his keyboard working on the speech.

This scene played out several times more over the week and I had compassion.

I know how vulnerable it is to try something new.

It is especially challenging, I believe, when you know how to do something at one level but are facing the next iteration. It can be so challenging to face the fact that….you need help!

Does anyone out there relate to this?

I know you are amazing at what you do in so many ways. I realize you have done many great things.

But if you want to keep going, to succeed at what you do, to grow your business and grow your impact…

You will need to get help.

The top 5 reasons you don’t ask for help:

  1. You think you SHOULD know how to do it yourself
  2. You feel vulnerable and fear you will be judged
  3. You are afraid of being rejected
  4. You aren’t willing to accept honest feedback
  5. You don’t want to put the time, money or effort into using the help

We were sitting at our dining room table early one morning the other day when I saw a new look on Curtis’s face.

He was again working on his speech and the stressed look had been there just a moment before.

But now he was looking right at me. The words came out a bit reluctantly but clearly, “I need help. Will you help me?”

Curtis had broken through the lone wolf barrier! He asked for help and I gave it to him.

I have a lot of experience writing and delivering inspiring talks so I was excited to help. That is so often the case, isn’t it?

It is hard to ask for help but once you do, you find people are happy to support you. They enjoy it. I did.

In this case, it really didn’t take much at all, I listened and reflected what I heard. I gave a few suggestions and tips that had helped me when writing a talk.

He was off and running… or should I say writing and speaking!

Asking for help is not always easy but it always…HELPS. In ways small and large.

Help that comes from people who are in your tribe, a part of your support system or from those you pay for specific help that requires expertise… it all helps.   

Here are some questions for you to ponder today and I would love to hear from you!

  • If you could have all the help you need, no limits, what would be possible?
  • What kind of help, helps you the most?
  • What kind of help is the hardest to ask for?

P.S. Curtis won the contest!

All the Best
Kat & Curtis  

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